Last time, I left you on a bit of a cliff hanger. Possibly the least exciting one ever, but still, a cliff hanger nonetheless. I’m reduced to talking about Jade Goody and other terrifying things that have happened to the UK’s health system, rather than the research I had actually done about developing countries. Well, this debate really took a turn.
At this point, I’m still trying to unite the blocs. What has happened is that two distinct groups have formed, and two separate draft resolutions have been made. As we’re all supposed to be representing charities and NGOs, there really shouldn’t have been many divisions, as we are all trying to help the same people. However, I suppose in order to make the Global Health Cluster more controversial and thus ‘fun’, people have started arguing about the smallest of details. It’s February 14th, I wish them all a happy Valentine’s Day and express my desire to create “an atmosphere of peace and love in this committee”.
However, after being fobbed off so many times by the bloc leaders with my pleas to unite, I give up. I’m such a small player, and nobody is listening to chocolate girl anyway. When reading through one of the resolutions, though, myself and the Australians notice a clause we’re really not a fan of. The topic is Efficient Health Systems, and this clause is about contraception. Fair enough, you might think. However, it states that abstinence (i.e. not having sex) is the most effective way to prevent population growth. It would be, if people had the will to resist powerful natural urges. As a history student, I know that abstinence has never been successful in the long-term. We leap on this like panthers and push for an amendment, which is successful in passing, and the clause is completely rewritten. We pat ourselves on the back and sit tight.
On the last day, I give unity one last go. I’ve sunk so low I’m now quoting my favourite childhood film, Pocahontas. “Look around you! This is where the path of hatred has brought us!” I say as we’re fighting about resolutions (again). Here’s hoping nobody noticed. We jump on the bandwagon of the resolution we thought best fitted Medair’s agenda, and we jumped on the right one, because it passed.
Here’s the moment I’ve been waiting for. After it’s passed, the final hour of committee is taken up by jokes, fun and number-swapping. We do this “funny awards” thing, and me and my partner win Happiest and Funniest delegates. In all fairness, I created the “funniest” category, and then I won because I was the only person that told a joke. So, essentially I nominated myself for an award. Whatever, I’ll take it, that was the goal. Then, we sat back and relaxed for a while, and actually got to talk about non-committee related things. At last! I think. Chocolate girl breaks out yet another bar. This time, it’s Cadbury’s Dairy Milk with Chips Ahoy, a new one but an awesome one. This firmly cements my title as the Queen of Chocolate.
The closing ceremony is where the serious awards are given out, and the Royal Holloway delegation gets a couple of mentions. Yay, well done us! Unsurprisingly, it wasn’t me or my partner, but neither of us are surprised. Much patriotism is in the air from the Venezuelans in front of us and the Americans behind us. Brits everywhere feeling awkward. Well, when I say Brits, basically us and Exeter University.
It was a truly unforgettable experience, and I’m glad I did it. I’ll always remember the people I met, and the people I successfully made friends with. The people I gave chocolate to. The people who lobbied me at 1AM in the lift. And finally, my wonderful team mates – the Royal Holloway delegation!
Image: Alice Barnes-Brown